Saturday, November 08, 2008

A long and winding road to Clermont

Our journey to Clermont was not exactly planned, but we are quite thrilled to be here and amazed at how God used every desire and circumstance to direct our paths without us knowing where we would end up. It all started years ago with David being frustrated with corporate life and the uncertainties of being fired or forced to move. He felt deeply called to buy a business or start one. We researched every sort of business and industry and even considered a Zaxby's franchise in the Triangle area of NC and then a catering business in Denver, CO. He also felt a pull to return to his rural roots. I was a city slicker, but loved the outdoors and was ready for the adventure. Despite our searching, nothing definite materialized until one of his poultry friends hooked him up with an entrepreneur in AL looking for a partner. It looked like the perfect fit, so he quit Pilgrim's Pride in August 2007 and we tried to move to Albertville, AL. I stayed behind and prepared the house for market and joined him about a month later. That was the beginning of the housing market, sub prime market debacle. We rented a dump in Guntersville. It was scary in many ways and contains my darkest memories of my adult life. Never had I felt so lost or abandoned as laying in that cold creaking bed every night. I didn't have a job description at the new start up company, so I helped in Personnel and in Safety and in inventory control. There were conspiracies I didn't understand and hostility I couldn't understand . Some of these people are warped and have evil agendas. Within a month of David moving there, he was approached by another large poultry company to be their president. The location was back in Georgia where we had just moved from! He took the job, intending to split his time between both companies, and we would live in AL. We looked for suitable housing, but nothing worked out. He moved back to GA, and into our home which was for sale, but empty, as we had placed everything in storage. So, that left me alone in AL, in the most hostile surroundings of my life. I didn't know a soul except people at the company, and only a few of them could I trust. I drove back and forth to GA on the weekends. My cat suffered immensely in the 3 hr drives. After I had been there about a month alone, he figured out that he needed to make GA the home base and commute occasionally to AL instead of the other way around. That shifted everything. I couldn't take the negativity at the company, so it was the perfect opportunity to say Hasta La Vista, BABEE. I cannot put into words the demonic sensations I experienced at work and in that house. I hope to NEVER set foot in that town again as long as I live. We began to look for housing in the country near Gainesville. Our dream property appeared and we are so fortunate to be on this tract. We moved into our little mini farm in January 2008. Over time, David's business partners decided he wasn't needed any longer, so his share of the company was bought out. He is proud that the business is still viable and operating well. Our home finally sold in July 2008 just before the real financial crisis hit. The day after we closed that sale, my employer told me they didn't think I could do the job well enough, but asked me to stay long enough to train my replacement. We could never have imagined so much could happen in one short year and have it work out so well. He's back in the corporate rat race at a much higher pressure level than ever before. But his old employer is expected to file bankruptcy soon. God has grown us both and we've learned deeper levels of trust and how to fight against hell no matter what shape it takes.

A sure sign of aging

For the past several years I haven't quite been my old self. I'm not even sure what that means. But many of life's twists and turns have shaped me, some more deeply than others, especially recent ones. I have officially hit the big M. The hot flashes started last summer; sometimes only minutes apart and going on like this all day. Fall came and they went away. They have returned this spring with a vengance and now the night sweats are ruining my life. I remember dismissing other women's complaints about waking up soaking wet and having to change PJs and sheets. How ridiculous! I thought those ladies were wimps and whiners. That's probably why I'm suffering; I judged. When I realized how my lack of quality sleep was ruining my waking life, I opted to try HRT. I also had sworn I wouldn't lower myself to depending on drugs but I decided that with the other negative forces in life I'm fighting, why hinder my poor body even more? The Dr. said it would take about a week for the low dose to kick in, but the night sweats have stopped. The hot flashes are tolerable. I hope to only be on this hormone for a year or less. I don't know if my mental state will morph, but I am feeling better overall.

Update June 2012:  I stayed on the HRT about 2 months and gave up.  The day and night sweats returned with a vengeance so my "dew rag" was a constant and welcome companion.  The mental fog has lifted and I think I'm "normal" again; whatever that means, maybe a new normal?  The sweats are mostly history.  Could use some moisture in other areas, but not gonna happen without the hormones.  These bodies weren't designed to keep us content forever.  I'm looking for my new one already!