Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Consistency

Things are looking up for me overall. I've joined a womens'small group at my church for the purpose of running and memorizing scripture. The verses are easier to learn than the running. We've committed to doing a 5K on December 16 the Jingle Jog in Atlanta. We're also studying the Girls on the Run program to see if we should commit to serving our young middle schoolers at our church?
I found a really useful tool in managing my workouts. www.coolrunning.com
I am so excited to be able to run and get some of my identity back. Some of the girls have the Garmin 301, but I'll wait to invest. It has some bad reveiws on HR monitor failures.

My husband is still investigating new business purchase opportunities, but the right one hasn't come along. I am playing guitar almost every day, staying consistent with my bible studies. I would love to hook up with some other musicians, but don't see a pathway. No clear direction yet on what my path is to be. But I'm becoming more able to rest in this time frame. LIke Joseph and Daniel did in their time of imprisonment. They made good use of it. I want to do the same and not waste my talents and abilities.
My son has been home from the recovery program since 9-15 and we are shocked at much he intentionally avoids being at home or around us. He had us convinced he was a Christ follower, but his actions have proven otherwise. I've grieved again over the waste, but I'm over it now and am moving on. He is determined to do it his way, and it will bring him pain and heartache. I am determined to let it be HIS pain and heartache, not mine. Emotionally, I don't care like I used to. Maybe that is the path for my sanity. I have given, served, poured out, prayed for him, invested more in him than any soul alive and it has wrought not much. Yes, he is working full time for a steel mill. And I am so thankful for that. I have relaxed my efforts to fix him and am concentrating on blessing myself and investing in me and my spiritual goals, because there will be fruit when I do.
My daughter is beginning a Mary Kay consultant business. I've tried the MLM stuff and hated it, failed misearably and am hoping she does better. She is going at it full bore with a huge inventory purchase upfront. That will put the pressure on her and force her to work it and not give up quickly. I'm very proud of her entrepreneurial spirit. Got that from her great Aunt Cloma and her dad.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Medieval Times

  Posted by PicasaWe celebrated the graduation of Brian from a behavioral recovery program with a trip to the Medieval Times venue in Discover Mills mall in Duluth, GA.  They feed you more than you should eat  while acting out exciting jousting and general tomfoolery of those long gone days.  Definitely recommend it.

Time has flown and left me at the gate

I thought 2005 was a rough year, but 2006 is turning out to be a close second. I am still battling a tender right hamstring, painful bursitis or right hip flexors. And for over a week, a low back disc flare up, that is not responding to ice, exercise or Naprosen. So running has not been a normal activity for most of the year. I miss "being" a runner. There are so many positive benefits, but I not only have the pain keeping me stationary, but I've lost the motivation. I just don't care about much anymore. It may be clinical depression, or just what happens to 52 year old women who see the body slipping and sliding away. My mind isnt as sharp. I can just not think for a while and be content. There were some hopeful months for my son while he was in a recovery program. He got out on Sept 15, 2006 and we believed everything he said. We were so wrong. He immediately hooked up with the undesirable influences and despite our encouragement, he is not pursuing a relationship with God anymore. He tries to placate us occasionally with words, not actions. He stayed out all night Saturday, and didnt seem remorseful. Confrontation ensued, he has been given official notice that if curfews cant be followed, he will need to move out. He is paying us for room and board at almost 50% of his take home pay. He is 18+ and still has some big lessons to learn the hard way.
I joined a special group at my church Saturday. Its a group of ladies who want to run together, memorize scripture verses and become friends. I can learn verses easier than run but I want this to work. I ran for 30 minutes at Little Mulberry Park and didnt have too much pain. Today however, i cant get rid of the pain.
This past week I conceded another age related defeat. I have worn contacts for most of my life, but am giving them up. I need reading glasses so often that I may as well be wearing glasses all the time. I tried multi-focal contacts but they were not comfortable, could not get the distance part to work. The brain has to be retrained to process the optic image from each eye differently and the dominant eye really drives the train. I got so frustrated after going through 3 pair and the Dr. saying she couldnt do anything else. take it or leave it. i wrestled over this for days and finally gave up. with all the other negatives i'm battling right now physically and emotionally, i dont need this issue with my eyes. My husband had Lasik done a few years ago using the newest Innerweave technology and loves it. he has to use reading glasses a lot too, but distance is perfect. Since i dont work, i could never feel i deserved to spend that kind of money, so that is not an option. which brings up another whole can of worms. eventually i would like to return to working but have no clue how to start the process. I've researched many ideas and something always prevents it from working out. i'm not sure i could even learn anything important and new at this stage of my life. I've lost the sense of significance in most every way and all the markers previously defining my life are gone.
One new thing i am using to pass the time and keep my self sane is guitar playing. i play acoustic country and praise & worship stuff. I even wrote a worship song and our church worship leader liked the lyrics, gave me good advice on how to rework some melody and chords. I'm excited about pursuing this. We saw 7 concerts at Chastain Park this summer:
George Benson, Spyro Gyra, Clint Black, Randy Travis, The Doobie Brothers, Peter Frampton, Santana. Took friends and had a really good time. I even got to see an old band Allgood live twice at the Georgia Theatre. I'm also serving CBS on Mondays by playing guitar to a hymn and on Tuesdays I serve the musicians with power point, tech support, music selection. I dont exactly have a talent for this, but I can do something none of my friends care about. So they think i sound good, but i know my limits.
I dont know what my future holds but I know God is faithful to His seed and I am still pursuing HIm with desire and many questions.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Absent for awhile

I just posted a few pictures and comments today after months of not writing. This fall our family experienced a trial by fire. Our 17 year old son had become more rebellious and destructive in his behavior. He had been on probation since 12-04 and spent a month in Juvenile detention in summer 2005 for probation violations. Within a few days of being released from probation on 10-31, he was present when a felony was committed and spent a week in adult jail. They dropped the charges and released him, but his school expelled him for a year. Through God's perfect timing and intervention, we were led to a special group home nearby for troubled teenage boys. We admitted him on 12-15-05 and have watched our Lord begin to reach his hard heart and begin a long transformation back to Him.
I haven't wanted to write about running during the worst of our ordeal. In fact, I wasn't able to run. The emotional weight was simply too great. I am still not running consistently now, but am getting back to the gym more regularly. A weird hip pain has surfaced, so taking it easy for a while may be the best action for the long term. I am filled with hope for my son because he is hearing Jesus and He has the power of life eternal. Everything is going to be alright, My God is making a way for me.

Won my age group (50-54) at 2004 Dennis McCormick 5K


This may have been the epitome of my running accomplishments. I've run much farther and put forth much more effort and was never noticed because I was in the company of greatness and finished in mid pack or worse. Running isn't about the accolades received but the rewards of knowing how hard you worked to simply finish the race. I accepted this award remembering it only reinforces that old saying, "If you can't outrun them, outlive them." Many people ran faster than me, even a 60 year old woman. But many more people were sitting at home on their couches and I am trying hard to not join them. Posted by Picasa

David and Linda ready for annual Christmas party Pilgrim's Pride

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